All of which I have lacked the last year and a half. I’ve slowly let myself go in all areas and for that, I’ve payed dearly.

But there is nothing I can do to change that. The only thing I can do is progress and perform at the best of my abilities and grow from here on out.

Those three words are what will be driving me to be a great boyfriend, co-worker, brother, friend, citizen, and most of all…a human being.

I need to have all of these qualities equally if I AM to achieve my goals that I set for myself years ago. Now I expect bumps in the road of course, but I can not and will not be deterred.

First thing first, get out of debt. I can’t do shit till that’s solved. This is high priority. The sooner debt is cleared, the more flexibility in life I’ll have, without a doubt. Work more, spend less.
When I do spend, its either for me and the gf to have fun or its for an investment. Debt free is top 3 goals right now for sure. I absolutely cannot waver  on this priority.

So one of the other obvious questions would be, “How do I eat healthy when I work at a restaurant?”
I need to have the DMD to say no. No I will not eat this because it works against me.
I need to take a precise look at what to eat and what not to eat. I generally just need to watch my calorie intake.
And besides, I won’t be working there forever or another anniversary. I just need to acclimate myself to these new changes in my life first before I make a job transition. I’m still actively looking though.

Now I also said that I want to train for a marathon. I am. I actually started a week ago. I’ll admit, running fucking sucks ass. It’s so annoying, but after you run, you can feel the work you put into not quitting and running for the time you set before running. But I feel I’m not pushing myself hard enough at all. I need to find a way to trick myself into really getting after it.

School….we all hate it. But its life, our way of life. I’ve accepted my mistakes with it and can only learn and go forward. So I’ll ease my way back into the educational setting and after a semester or three, go full speed with no stopping till I have my bachelors in Computer Science. This puts me somewhere in between 1.5 and 3 years. This gives me time still to press OTS. Which is my end-goal. I still want my commission that I earned rightfully. Something I wanted so badly and I just let it go so easily. I’m ashamed to have let myself down and my AF buddies down as well. But that’s alright, because I’ll see them on the other side; on active-duty as an officer. That you can be sure of.

Last be surely not least…mi senorita. It’s been a long (shut it) road. But the road will never stop for us, because this is something permanent, something real, and something valuable to me, as I know it also is to you. We’ll get there and we’ll make it. We both have our goals and our ambitions. You are my support system as you know I am yours. Lets take life and make it even better. Lets be healthy, happy, and secure. Love you.

In closing this is the start of new. To be far better than where I was a few years ago. Just to overall…be what I’m supposed to be. I am a winner, I always was. I will not be in a slump any further and I will never falter, and I WILL NOT FAIL.

#175lb

sigh…